Team Bing

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 Team Bing is made up of some of the finest sporting specimens in the UK. Led by a fine management duo of Barratt and Beasleigh, Team Bing will be aware of the mind games Team Wright will attempt to lay down and will be in peak physical condition after a training boot camp in Dubai.

THE PLAYERS

Ross ‘Royal’ Baker

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A defender who likes to get the ball down and play, Ross has modelled his style of play on Reading FC legend Andy Griffin over his football career, reaping countless rewards.  

Strengths: Moaning about Reading FC 

Did you know? Ross has visited 4 of the Wonders of the World. 

Matt Benham

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The wildcard. Matt comes from the unknown and will bring the element of surprise to Team Bing. As a budding photographer Matt is downing tools to jump into a proper hobby for a change. 

Strengths: With the worlds biggest hand Matt can open any pickle jar in the world. 

Did you know? Matt allegedly scored 5 goals in a second half cameo for his old infant school, Woodley C of E. 

Nathan ‘Princess’ Bingham (C)

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Woodley United Sunday Player/Manager has led his side to back-to-back title wins and promotions in the Bracknell League. Nathan plays in the heart of midfield and has an eye for goal with the ability to dig in and defend when the going gets tough. 

Strengths: Rolling on the floor after being fouled and heading a ball out of orbit. 

Did you know? Nathan was once first in the world in Heli Attack 2 on Miniclip in his Year 5 glory days.

Grant ‘121’ Butler

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Judging by Grant’s regular Instagram gym updates he should be in good physical condition for the game. With quick acceleration and flexibility over the pitch Grant offers useful perks to Team Bing. 

Strengths: Hill jumping and smashing shots over the crossbar.

Did you know? Grant has his own bed and car parking spot reserved in Royal Berks Hospital due to his number of visits. 

Joey ‘Seaweed’ Comber

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Joey is taking a break from his rings for the afternoon and will #MuscleUp to help Team Bing’s attempt to beat Team Wright. With silky skills on the ball and raw strength off it, defenders need beware of the rolling Comberweed.  

Strengths: Shin-rollers

Did you know? In his debut for Woodley Saturday Team in 2015 Joe scored a spectacular own goal from 30 yards, his only senior career goal.  

Chris ‘Fireeeeee’ Dodd

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An industrious defender/midfielder who can do a bit of everything. His long legs are his greatest strength and sometimes greatest hindrance. If Chris can be fully fit, he will be a key part of Team Bing. 

Strengths: Posting GIFS in the group chat and slaying COD Zombies

Did you know? Chris plays the guitar in a metal band

Ryan ‘Kyrgiakos’ Goody

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A tricky attacker with quick feet and capable of unlocking any defence with his passing. Ryan has, however, been on an extended sabbatical from football since his Woodford Park glory days – rusty may be an understatement. 

Strengths: From tennis balls to stones to aeroplanes out the sky Ryan never turns down a volley. 

Did you know? Ryan will win Gold at the Olympics in 2024 in track cycling.

Jack ‘Crimson Pants’ Haggerty

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Jack’s consistency is one of the reasons he is first name on the team sheet for his Sunday side, his defensive work often bails out Jack Wright and he will be breathing a sigh of relief he is lining up against Team Wright this time around.

Strengths: Speed and a great noise when launching a long throw down the line 

Did you know? Jack once modelled y-fronts for Yves Saint-Laurent. 

Mystery Player

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Who will he be?

Charlie Lauri

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Spent much of his career in goal before moving into midfield, Charlie loves a tackle almost as much as he loves an injury. Despite being a huge Chelsea fan Charlie is said to have modelled his career on Arsenal legend Abou Diaby. According to Charlie’s Facebook he is a Premier League Coach and will bring some world-class knowledge to Team Bing.

Strengths: Meeting the celebs

Did you know? Charlie once played against Torquay in a youth match

Matt ‘Emmanuel Frimpong’ Leigh

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Matt has natural ability that saw him a regular starter at school and Uni. He can play left back, left midfield or striker and has a dangerous set piece delivery. The only thing that is predictable about Matt on the pitch these days is that he is completely unpredictable.

Strengths: A man everyone needs in the dressing room, Matt brings a laugh a minute to boost morale in the Team Bing camp. 

Did you know? This season Matt scored a hat trick of penalties in one match. Not bad, you?

Greg ‘Snow White’ Taylor

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With strength, tenacity and a love for taking on defenders it is no surprise that many teams hate having to face him. Greg has been side-lined for much of the 18/19 season after tying the knot in November, and will be looking to make up for lost time against Team Wright. 

Strengths: Hustle, ability to score wonder goals and hosting a class wedding. 

Did you know? Greg’s Wife Beth has banned him from going to PC World ever again. He’ll have to explain that to you. 

Ted ‘Dirk’ Warren

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Fresh from the hockey field Ted will be looking to emulate his idol Dirk Kuyt on the football pitch through his work rate, one-yard tap ins and questionable haircut. 

Strengths: Passion and famous ‘noise’ after a sweetly struck effort. 

Did you know? Ted was a TV star as a baby, featuring in adverts for Pampers and playing the Milky Bar Kid. 

James ‘Spoony’ Washington

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James’ sole career goal came in Singapore, with a luscious left foot looping lob. The strike was heralded ‘Goal of the decade’ in the Singapore Times and this is certainly a career highlight for James. James’ nickname comes from his unorthodox kicking style he has picked up from his Rugby League Uni days. 

Strengths: Sarcasm and two-point conversions

Did you know? James lived in Singapore. Although he’s probably already told you that. 

Myles ‘El Chapo’ Witt

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An experienced shot-stopper, capable of worldie saves and overall big game moments. 

Strengths: Drinking tequila like its water 

Did you know? Myles has the most red cards in Hicks Development League history. He has also been voted the most feared goalkeeper in the Berkshire area by referees for the last six years. 

Tom Barratt

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The converted goalkeeper into midfielder saw a quick rise from park football to Bracknell Town  where he would be adored by the fans making over 130 caps. Unfortunately, significant injuries have stopped Tom being on the field over the last three years, where he has taken on coaching duties with the Woodley Sunday team. 

Strengths: Set pieces and wonder strikes. Beware if the occasion calls for a management intervention. 

Did you know? Tom’s long throw in can reach from halfway to the penalty box. 

Josh Beasleigh

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Like Tom Barratt, Josh is another who fell victim to long term injury and has been sorely missed by his Sunday side ever since. Josh is an old-fashioned uncompromising centre back, with the ability to sweep back and tackle, win physical duels and also grab some goals. One season getting double digits from centre back. 

Strengths: Partnering with Myles Witt to clean out top scorers. Putting bad people in prison. 

Did you know? Josh’s love for peanuts saw him steal from an elephant at Marwell Zoo. 

Pat "Dad" Taylor

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An ex-military man Pat will march into battle with Team Bing come game day and be a rock in the heart of the defence. Will be dusting off one or more cobwebs! 

Strengths: Organisation and keeping his son Greg safe. 

Did you know? Pat used to partner Team Bing Manager Josh Beasleigh for Woodley Hammers in defence